James (Jaime) Cruz - Online Memorial Website

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James (Jaime) Cruz
Born in United States
39 years
88933
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Tricia Miss you December 24, 2011
James,

I am stuggling this year with not only your loss but Joey's as well.  It is the first one in 28 yrs that he and I did not get together to do something.  Well, other than when I lived in FL for the first 2 yrs...  I remember our last Christmas and you had all the guys over for it as you felt bad cause they were from out of town and did have family in FL..  We ALWAYS had friends and family over for the Holidays... I had so much fun when Frankie would come down and stay with us while he was  off of school..  The times we drove up to Tampa and Luz let us stay with her...   Oh my goodness...  I sure do miss you and the Holidays are always so hard for me. I pray that you will be over us during this holiday season... What am I saying, of course you will be with us..  I know that Joey too is watching over his family as he too was VERY protective of them.

I love & miss you,
Tricia
It's happened again, I have lost a very dear friend.  Joey LaLicata, my best friend of 27yrs is now dead.  Linda found him as I found you, on the floor and no longer with us.  The pain of it all came flooding back on 8/28/11 when I got that call and they could not get in to his home.  The broke in the way I did to find you on the floor.  It feels not real but I knew it was and since I have been through it myself, I know what Linda is going through and hope that you are there with grandma to greet Joey and get him used to his new life with all of you.  I know that he is loved by so many as you are too.  I also know that  will be missed and pray that he is there to watch over his 5 children and granddaughter to make sure they are all ok.

I miss you so much James but am thankful that you are there to greet and meet all of my loved ones that are passing on before me.
Love you always and forever,
Tricia Ann

Joseph D (Joey) LaLicata 10/13/66 - 8/28/11
Tricia Hurley

James,

Thank you for yowere with her now???ur recent visit and coming with Gram...  I miss her so very much and often wondered if you get to be with her where you both are now.  She sure has not changed, other than she looked so happy and healthy and glad to be there with you all..  I KNOW that mom said that she often comes and touches her hand to wake her up.

I am so depressed Jaime.  I KNOW that I NEED to find a place to go and it is not easy being here.  I WANT to go home.  I KNOW that I have to go home and find a place to call my own, but it is not easy to do.  I THANK GOD for Joey and him allowing me to live in this BIG beautiful house.  I Just don'understnad how mom's family could treat me so poorly, but my best friend came to my rescue, again.  He always has.

I miss you so very much and KNOW that you do NOT celebrate your birthday up there the way we did down here.  I still wear your red t-shirt to bed, makes me feel so close to you.  I moved all of your things with me when I left Florida..  I can't wait to go back there and YES, your things will go back with me again.

I Love You Baby Boy, So very MUCH..  It does NOT feel like you have been gone nearly 3 yeras, it feels like merely days, or months, but not years..

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH JAME SCRUZ..

Always and FOREVER,

Tricia Ann

Tricia

James,

I was so excited that Jeanna got me a meeting with Izabella.  She did a wonderful reading and I thank you for being there too...  I miss you so much and to know that you still come around helps the pain to less.  I know that you are always going to be a part of my heart and knowing that you will be the one to great me when it is my turn brings such peace and comfort to my heart.  I know that you still feel love and so much more than you could have here.  I thank you for staying longer than you should have and looking back realize that there were MANY times when your life should have come to an end.  The crazy things you did here, silly man..  I thank God you waited for our souls to join as one and our love to be eternal. I thank God for allowing me to be with my soulmate here in the physical before you were taken to help to guide me from the next realm.  I have so many journals with your visits and signs and Jazmine is such a huge help with those as well...  While J and I were talking Saturday night, I KNEW you were there when Jaz looked up at you and cried.

I love you baby, Always have and always will

Tricia Ann

Tricia Ann

James,

 

I ALWAYS knew that you and I are soul mates, and now Izabella confirmed it for me.  I did NOT know that we are TWIN FLAMES.  At first I did NOT understand this, but Izabella explained it to me and I agree, we defnately are. 


Tomorrow it will be 2 years since God called you home and Boy has that time been both hard and sad, happy and glad for me.  Hard that I can no longer lay next to you at night and talk about the things that happened during our childhoods and our adult lifes.  The things we could have/should have/would have done to change the way we did it.  Also about the people that we cared about and the loved ones that we missed.  I know that your mother is one of the most important people in your lives.  It is hard for me to talk to her without crying.  I miss her and wish we could live closer.  I am thankful that Tia and Tio are living closer to me now and that we can get together and enjoy each others company from time to time.  I want to introduce everyone to my parents when they get here.

 

I am so very tired today.  I know that the flame on the candle that I lit Friday night will burn all week.  That is just you , had to have a candle burning.


I love you James Cruz, I love you with all my heart.  Yes I can still feel you and yes I KNOW you will be there on the other side when it is my time to come home.  

 

Always and Forever,

Tricia Ann

Tricia Ann

James,

I remember how we spent our birthdays and the one that went so wrong.  Driving for HOURS looking for a hotel room.  Thank GOD for finding one.  It was fun though.  The next was during Hurricane Wilma.  We had plans to go to the HardRock, but our company had to do a job and then we had to prepare for the "Tropical Storm."  To this day when they tell us the storms will be nothing, I do NOT believe them.  Remember how the winds came upon us and Rob sitting on the back patio just letting it whip by him??  Idiot, I still can not believe what an ass he turned out to be.  Then you and he getting into it over his snide comments to me.  You always were my protector.  I look at Jazmine and think of how she stand between me and anyone that comes around me.  Just like you, always ready to pounce incase someone wants to hurt me.  I love you so much for that and for the things that you and I shared.  I know that you wanted to grow old with me.  NOw you are still only 39 and I have to grow old alone.  I know that you are still with me and thank you so VERY much for all of the visits as of late.  I can NOT believe how much you are around and now have the pictures to prove it.  So funny when Emma and I were out last night how she too believes that Jazmine was sent to me from you.  I KNEW it from the start.  God put her in our lives cause you requested it.  I thank you for that. She is a good protector and loving dog.  Always taking up 3/4 of our bed, just like you, always protecting, just like you, always smiling, just like you.  Yes, you know exactly what  I am talking about.


Granny goes for her surgery on Monday.  I pray to God that she survives, yet I am soooooooooooooooooooo afraid that she will not.  You used to make me so strong and I believed that everythign would be alright.  Now I just am afraid that things will go wrong.  One thing that I am greatful for is that I BELIEVE that should something happen to her, you will be there to help guide her home.  I feel it James, deep inside of my soul.  You and I are soul mates and this I KNOW to be true. 

 

Always and Forever in my heart and in my soul,

I love you James Cruz,

Tricia Ann

 

PS - Happy would have been 41st birthday James.  I know how you hated birthdays, you always said, "it is just another day"....

 

XOXOXO

T. :)

Tricia

I had a really good time with Nani and Carmen James.  I know that Tia Olga was glad to see all of us too.  I am so glad that your family lives here and I can see them James.  I can't wait to go to lunch w/Tia and do the things that I promised I would.  She is such a sweet person James and I know that you are watching over us to make sure that Tia and Tio are alright and things are taken care of.

I miss you Baby and know that the day they came to visit us was because God had it all planned out ahead of time.  I feel it to my bone.  They were able to say good bye to you James.  They were able to see the house we live in and how we lived and knew that you were going to be alright.  They knew that if something happened to you, I would not allow you to die in vain.  All that I am doign with the group is for you my love.  I know that if it were me that died, you would never be the same, as I will never be.  I know that you would have handled things differently and that you would never be able to forget the things that I have not forgotten.

I miss you James, I love you James, you are always going to be with me, in my soul and in my heart my love.


To you always,

Tricia Ann

Tricia Ann

James,

So MUCH is being done to prevent more Methadone related deaths.  NOT NEARLY ENOUGH, but yet, at least more and more people are becoming aware of just how dangerous this drug really is..

 

I still am having a hard time now that Mike Willson died.  I was shocked to hear that he died Tuesday, 3-6-2007 out in Wyoming on that snowmobile.  He has been riding forever and I just NEVER thought that it could happen.  Just like I NEVER thought that you would die so young.  So young and just when things were going SOOOOOOOOOOOOO well for us.  I closed the business, until Franky decides if he wants to run it now that you are gone.  He misses you too baby, so does Granny as I am SURE that your family misses you too.... 

I still can't believe that "J" came and knocked at our door nearly 6 months ago.  He looks so much like his daddy..  What a LITTLE cutie pie.  I know that you see all from where you are and you directed him in this direction.  I am just thankful that you did.

 

Jordan is getting so big baby...  Of course you see that too.  I know that you are watching over her from up above.  I am watching over her from down here as well.  I am reading the book that you sent to me and am LOVING it.  It just reaffirms all that you used to say and do.  Thank you for all of the loving, kindm warm signs baby...  I pray that they never stop.

 

I love you James Cruz, Always have, Always Will.  Thank you for making it your life chart to be a part of me and us and to live out your life with me, the woman you wanted to marry, the woman you loved...

 

Tricia Ann

Trish

James I am doing all of this so that this DRUG does NOT kill again.  I know that you are helping me with it and you will be here with me all of the way through it.  I know that it is just time to do it and get it done.

I love you baby and know that this was ALL brought to me from you!!!

 

Hugs and oh so much love

Tricia Ann

 

One pill to kill say methadone bereaved

Candor Trust 29/11/06
One pill to kill say methadone bereaved
The FDA yesterday warned health care professionals about the dangers of
methadone including cardio-toxicity, saying Prescribers' should read and
carefully follow prescribing information. Methadone is a synthetic opiate
commonly given to opiate addicts so their lives will be less chaotic.
NZs Candor (Campaign Against Drugs on Roads) group believes FDA are responding to Melissa Zuppardi's ferocious 'one pill to kill' campaign. 'We support her campaign, we know bad treatment has severe implications for road safety.'
Zuppardi of Connecticut has begun a petition asking for improved treatment
standards and more effort to stop dangerous on-selling.
On June 24th 2006, Zuppardis fiance pro sportsman Ron, was prescribed methadone in a detox facility for percocet addiction after knee surgery. He was
administered excessive amounts of methadone and valium. He was dead several
hours before staff checked on him. He was 32 years old. He has 2 children.
676 people – often similarly affected to Melissa have signed the petition in
it's short life to date. Methadone supporters have debated it's merits with
Melissa. Who notes the irony of methadones 'strongest supporters besides
pharmaceutical companies' being the patients who are 'exploited and
victimised', by those benefiting the most.
The FDA's announcement says Prescribers, Patients and Caregivers should all be
alert to 3 key points.
Taking more methadone than prescribed can cause death. Taking other medicines or dietary supplements atop methadone can cause death. Overdose symptoms include confusion, tiredness and breathing difficulties, if present get medical
attention fast.
In the wake of recent high mortality the FDA notes 'prescribing methadone is
complex.' A medication guide for patients is planned. Box warnings currently
don't caution against interactions with other drugs – a common overdose cause.
 
In 2003 methadone contributed to 2,992 deaths in the States. Though cognisant
of an epidemic, the FDA then refused to even require box warnings regarding the
drugs cardio-toxicity despite studies show potentially fatal arrhythmias are
common.
The rumblings of discontent over the U.S. epidemic were not quelled any by a
cross departmental report undertaken. It put the deaths down to increased use
pain prescriptions - rather than addiction treatment, and was heavily influenced
by treatment expert Stewart Leavitt. A methadone manufacturer employee.
Relatives of victims couldn't ignore the fact methadone didn't discriminate.
Just as in New Zealand, deaths hit methadone program patients and those they on
sell methadone to, more often than Leavitts report intimated. Anecdotally NZ has
worse problems than the United States, says Candor Trusts Rachael Ford.
Coroner Kershaw has commented there is a perception methadone was a
'therapeutic' drug, though it's 'just as dangerous as the drugs it replaced'.
He was concerned users are unaware the drug kills as many people as morphine and heroin. 'It's because they get huge takeaways & the program's too soft' says
Ford.
From July 1995 to June 1998 there were 44 methadone related deaths in New
Zealand – four of them in Wairarapa or about 10% of Wairarapa patients. In the
same period 40 New Zealanders died of heroin or morphine overdoses. This does
not take in to account deaths caused by methadone impaired drivers, which Candor estimate to be 15-20% of the toll.
Long term patients of a North Island clinic who admit to being transient and
moving randomly for years say it's the same all over. A lot of methadone is sold
outside Pharmacies, often to P (methamphetamine) addicts wanting to 'chill'.
Sellers then continue on to some location where they can use the spoils to buy
P.
'They all drive – they have to to get their drugs' said an informant. 'I asked
the meth Drs to stop the diversion as it worries me sick. Someones gonna die or
something, don't know how many times I seen mates turn blue, but the Doc just
offered me antidepressants'.
In the face of some alarming statistics the Ministry of Health hasn't made
changes or set out to record patient mortality or road accidents, say Candor.
Green MP Sue Kedgley has recently highlighted prolonged delays with setting up some system to report adverse events in NZ's Health system.
Ends
Tricia Ann
November 12th, 2006
James,
I got a call today from Millie and Mami.  They told me a story that made me cry.  Not because it was sad, but because I could feel your love deep inside of my heart.  Mami told me of the day you went to her and told her that you found the woman you wanted to share the rest of your life with.  You told her you loved me and that you were going to marry me and we were going to grow old together.  I can hear you telling her for your voice whenever you spoke to Mami was so sweet, loving and warm.  Your heart came out every time you spoke to her and I knew deep inside that you love mami so very much.  I know that she would never lie to me and that she wanted me to know this for I can not be in Hartford today the first year anniversary of your passing away.  I miss you so much Baby and I love you so much.  I wish so much that you could be here in the physical, but I know that it just can't be so.  I know that you never wanted to hurt me.  You used to tell me that you would be "LOST WITHOUT ME"...  Now I am lost without you.  You ALWAYS had my back baby and I yours.  I know that it was you that told them to call me today to let me know that you love me and always did.
I love you James Cruz Always and Forever,
Tricia Ann
Tricia Ann

James,

Last year you took such good care of me during the storms.  You were the strong one and I the needy one.  While I was preparing for Tropical Storm Ernesto, I thought of how you prepared our whole house all by yourself.  It made me cry to think of you not being here with me.  I smell a cigarette right now James, I smell you smoking here in our room.  Lord how I miss you baby.  You are the first person I think about when I wake up in the morning and the last while going to bed.  Night is the hardest for me for I am so into you and missing you that I find it hard to sleep.  I also find it hard to leave Hartford when I do for I know that it might be the last trip there.  I no longer worry about tomorrow for tomorrow may never come. I miss you so very much Jaime.  You were my strength and my future.  Now I have nothing, you are not here with me and I am all alone.  I sit and cry every day for you. I know that you are here with me right now and you see my tears, my tears of pain and anguish cause I miss you so very much James.  God how I love you unconditionally, always have always will.  I never asked you to change or to be someone that you could not.  I only wanted you to be yourself and to see you succeed in life.  I know that there were others out there that believed you would amount to nothing.  I never ever doubted the things you did.  I never thought bad of you and I never will.

I love you James, I love you so very much.

Always and Forever,

Tricia Ann

Tricia Ann

James,

 

I remember the day I arrived in Hartford, CT.  I had to get off of the plane knowing that I was going to have to leave you behind and say good for the last time, or so I thought.  I found Frankie, Carmen, Demi and Miguel and we got my luggage and left for home.  I was exhausted and came home to a house full of people that I did not know.  I met so many people that night and my mind just kept on thinking, James promised to bring me up to meet the family.  I got to go with you, but not as I had always envisioned.  I got along with everyone just fine.  Well, almost everyone, but it doesn't matter any longer.  I know that you left that city not EVER wanting to go back.  I felt so guilty for bringing you back to the place you swore never to return to.  I also had so much guilt for not following your last wish and cremating you and throwing your ashes away.  You knew that I could NEVER do that baby.  I loved you so very much and if you were going to be cremated, I would have kept your ashes with me.  Now thinking back, we could have cremated your insides and left your body for Mami.  I could not follow what your family wanted for you and that was a buriel.  I pray and hope that you forgive me James.  I am so very sorry for not following your wishes as I told you that I promised to do.  I had to allow your mother the right and the respect to have you back, to bury you and for you to be where she could visit your body.  I know that it is your flesh and bones up there, but your spirit lives on with us all.  I feel you so often and smell your cologne at the strangest times.  It is so overpowerful that i feel like someone dunked a towel in it and left it sit out.


I remember coming home and you were never going to be here again, or so I thought.  I smelled you so many times in our home.  I feel your arms around me at night.  I feel your leg pressed against mine.  I miss you Jaime, I miss you so much.   Our love was true love.  It was NOT fake or false.  I knew that you were afraid to love me, but when you finally gave in and gave me your heart to keep, I thought that it was all going to be alright.  How was I to know that God had other plans for my soulmate, my love, my heart???  My heart is broken and I don't know that it will ever be healed.  I do know that I love today as much as I did the day you died.  I will always love you James.  You were it for me baby.  You and I forever, that is what you used to say.  You used to tell me that I was your girl and that you saved the best for last.  I love you so much baby.

 

All of my heart, body and soul are yours forever to keep,

Love,

Tricia Ann (Patricia)

Patricia

James,

I remember coming home and you looking out the front door.  You had called me and asked how soon I would be here?  I told you soon and you said that we needed to talk.  I felt nervous, as I didn't know what you were going to say.  You told me that you made some decisions about your life and that when I got home we would talk about it.  I remember asking you if I was going to be sad??  You said, no, I don't think so...  Then I pulled up in front of our home.  You walked outside and said Hello.  I walked through the gate and up to you. You got down on your knee and took my hand and looked deeply into my eyes.  You asked me to marry you.  I can't get this out of my mind.  I cry every time that I think about you and I.  I miss you so very much James.  I remember telling you yes.  That was one of the happiest days of my life James.  I just can't get you out of my mind.  You are the first thought of every day, the last thought of every night and so many thougths in between.  How could you be gone??  We are soul mates James, you and I.  You always knew that I had your back and you mine.  I remember so many things good and bad.  I remember just laying in bed and looking into your eyes and talking.  We sure could talk.  I never met a man that I could totally open up to and not have to hold anything back.  You were it for me James.  You are the one and only man that I could completely give myself to.  I miss you baby, I miss you laugh, I miss your smile, I miss your skin and I miss your smell.  I love you so much James, please don't ever leave me.  I know that you have work to do where you are, but i also know that you are still here with us too.  I feel you and your love from where you are.  I hate the thought that you would ever leave and never come back.

 

Even though you are not physically here, I know that you are reading over my shoulder and wiping my tears.


I love you James Cruz always have, always will.

Patricia Ann

Tricia Ann

May 5th, 2005.  I was so scared that day James.  You took me to the hospital where I was having my surgery.  I remember feeling numb and asking you to please be there when I woke up.  You assured me that you would.  I remember the doctor coming in to talk to us.  She asked me how "far" I was willing to go in the surgery.  She gave us a few minutes to talk.  This is when you told me that you have all the kids you ever want and that my health was more important to you than anything else.  She came back and I told her, take it all, if you have to. 

 

The next thing I remember was waking up and asking for you.  I was so cold and in so much pain.  The nurse said that you were in the hall waiting to come in.  I closed my eyes and when I opened them again, you were rubbing my hand and had tears in your eyes.  You told me that I was going to be just fine.  I asked you what they did and you told me that they had to take everything out.  You rubbed my head and bent down and kissed my cheek.  You said that it was over and as long as I was ok, we would get through it together.  I fell asleep.

 

When I woke back up I was in so much pain I couldn't take it, you told me that I had a pain killer drip and that I just needed to press the button to get it.  I did and fell back asleep.  When I woke back up you were sleeping in the chair with the tv on and a thin blanket over you.  You looked so at peace and I knew that you and I would never part...  We never did.

 

I got to come home and you took care of me.  You went to work, cooked, cleaned and didn't let me do anything.  You barely let me walk to our bed to lie back down.  You helped me in the bath and to dress.  You held me at night and protected me like I was a child.  Then the day came when it all hit me, I would NEVER have a child and I felt like I was no longer a full woman.  I came to you while you were dressing and sat on our bed.  I looked up into your eyes with tears in mine.  You asked if I was in pain and I shook my head.  I couldn't look up at you.  You bent down on your knee's and took my face into your heads.  You asked "what's wrong baby, what is it?"  I know that you thought that I got bad news from the biopsy's.  I asked you if you could still love me, now that I am no longer whole?  You looked at me and smiled, "I love you Trish you are whole and you are all that I want"..  I remember your words and I wrote them down in my journal.  You took me into your arms and kissed me.  I was all that you wanted, I knew that for sure.  I knew that we would be together forever.  That is what you said that you wanted, NO ONE ELSE...  And you kissed the tip of my nose...

 

I think back and remember your eyes James.  That is when I could see down to your soul.  I could see the love that you had in your heart, the love that you had for me.  I knew it was real and I knew that it could never be broken. Your love James, it is your love that I feel at night when I reach over and you are no longer here.  It is your love that I close my eyes and see, it is your soul that held that love for me.


I love you so much James, I always have and always will.

 

Love,

Tricia Ann

Trish

James,


I remember you leaving and going to work up in Panama City, FL.  I thought that I would never hear from or see you again.  I was so wrong.  You called me the first night you arrived and every night after that.  We stayed on the phone talking for hours and usually until early the next morning.  I remember one day you didn't even get to sleep before you had to get up and ready for work.  I grew to love you so much during this time.  I remember you coming home and us riding in the car to Tampa to visit Franky.  You kept on asking me if I was in love with you.  I was afraid to give you my heart.  I didn't want to be hurt.  I told you that I didn't know when I did know, Yes, I was in love with you.  I finally got up the nerve to find that you loved me too...  You were on your knees the day I got home from work, looking deeply into my eyes, asking me to marry you.  I said "yes".  Then you insisted on calling my father and asking his permission.  You were so beautiful James.  You still are in my mind.  You will always be the man that I will always completely love.  I know that the morning you died, you were back on your knee's on your side of the bed telling me that you wanted to grow old with me.  That is my last memory of you and how happy I was/how happy you made me.  I wish so much that I could bring you back, but it is God's will for you to be working in the Spiritual Realms and not here with me.  I never thought that I could endure so much pain, until I lost you James.  I miss you so very much and think about you every single day.  Not a day goes by that you are not on my mind.


I love you always and forever,

Tricia Ann Cruz (I would have been if you were still here)

Total Memories: 19
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